Tuesday, March 14, 2006

10 Provinces: Saskatchewan

Saskatchewan is located smack in the middle of Canada in an area called the prairies. It is geographically unique in that it is the only province to share a border with every other province in the country (not including the territories, of course -- that would be silly).

Aside from being especially great for travelling through to get to other provinces, Saskatchewan is also known for being exceptionally flat. In fact it is so flat that most rivers don't flow anywhere, but rather behave like really long, skinny lakes. Many of these "lakes" are marked by trading posts and mills, which work wheat, canola, flax, rye, oats, peas, lentils, canary seed, walnuts, and barley. That may sound like a crazy amount of grain (and it is), but a regional recipe known as Sakatchebread actually calls for every single one of those grains and about 30 others.

The Moose Jaw Canal is often used as an easy passage from the Atlantic Ocean to the Indian Ocean. The canal was once a significant source of income for Saskatchewan thanks to vacationing sailors. It is probably also the reason a lot of Saskatchewanonians felt that seeking their sovereignty from the rest of Canada was the right course of action. In 1998 Leslie Nielsen, the then leader of the grassroots movement for a free and independent Saskatchewan, called for a referendum on the subject. It was a close call with 55% voting to stay, 33% voting to separate, and 12% not having a clue what the referendum was asking them.

However, the minority who wished to separate were a vocal one and Saskatchewan was plunged into a bitter civil war. Today, Saskatchewan is a land largely controlled by pirates. The apparent leader of the pirates, known only as Wheatbeard, has repeatedly refused to meet with government officials for peace talks. A once beautiful landscape, now pillaged and (still) flat, is no longer Canada’s trade centre. Currently, the province can only offer a steady supply of pain and professional Hockey players (that’s right, we capitalize Hockey here).

[mp3] Arrogant Worms - Pirates of Saskatchewan
[mp3] The Guess Who - Running Back to Saskatoon
[mp3] Johnny Cash - Girl in Saskatoon
[mp3] Stompin' Tom Connors - Roll On Saskatchewan
[mp3] Les Trois Accord - Saskatchewan

* Buy a Kid's "Hooked on Saskatchewan" Headless T-Shirt

Previous 10 Provinces features:
Blue Rodeo (band)
The Weakerthans (band)
British Columbia
The Tragically Hip (band)


Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

You fuckers are too funny. You forgot to tell everybody that we Canadians say, "God Bless You," after anybody says Saskatchewan.

Anonymous said...

Saskatchewan does NOT share a border with every other province in the country, and no province does. Learn better, please.


Anonymous said...

Qu'Appelle Valley, Saskatchewan by Buffy Sainte Marie is also a nice tune

Anonymous said...

Does no one else think it is funny that the only thing "Anonymous" found wrong with your post is that Saskatchewan does not share a border with every other province in the country?

The Trick said...

That's because the pirate thing is totally true.

Steph said...

I hate Saskatchewan with a passion. Not the people, just the place.
By the way, at first I thought you were really, really, really stupid when I read your entry, and then I remembered what sarcasm was.

The Trick said...

Ha ha! That's awesome Steph. Yeah, we're getting most of our facts from drunks (our roomates) and people we meet in freaky alleys.

Mike said...

Nice post (and series actually). I like the Captain Tractor version of the Sask. Pirate better.

But honestly, how can you not put in the Rheostatics "Saskatchewan" As a hardcore Rheo fan that hurt.


B! said...

My, it sure is funny what you find when you google "I hate saskatchewan" out of boredom one night... But lets not forget people our wonderful government's new propaganda campaign actually states that people are actually coming back here and there's lots of jobs! Yeah - at Arbys... how about adding the Murder City Devils tune.. I don't remember the name but the chorus is something like "everything in this town, reminds me of something I'd like to forget" good enough anthem for Saskatoon I reckon.

Arlene said...

are a province filled with poverty, run by a gov't who will not open up our money making areas whils pondering why all our good workerd leave. We have the highest rates of child sexual abuse and prostitution, the poorist police force and the biggest rich/poor gap. We are a province of leftovers, the good leave the bad stay to live of their parents or get "jobs" because of who they know and not on what they know. We are built on stupidity and a lazy work ethic.

Anonymous said...

Horrible province. I have never been anywhere with people so uneducated, unintelligent, ignorant, and arrogant. In fact the small people of this geographicaly isolated region seem to revel in their ignorance. They seem to truely believe they are the architype of a wonderful, rounded human being. There is pockets of culture and sophistication here, but most residents act like the villagers after Frankenstien's monster if you mention such "wild" concepts. Lastly, the weight problem of these people is out of control. I would estimate that 60-70% of all people in Saskatchewan are clinically obese.


Anonymous said...

i hate saskatchewan. the only good things about it are the roads leading out. Roughriders = stupid


Anonymous said...

"I hate Winnipeg" by the weakerthans should be on there, its not in Saskatchewan but who cares.

Anonymous said...

Wow, am I glad I found this blog- hot tea just shot out of my nose reading this post (which is quite painful as an aside). I have a career that has allowed me to live all across Canada, and Saskatchewan is about just as bad as Ontario. Actually, it might be worse (at least Toronto is still pulling in money out east). I currently help teach undergrads, and the amount of twenty-one-year-olds who called my office the DAY THE PAPER WAS DUE to ask if I could take time out of my week to help them with a concept or allow them to turn it in "just a few days late" is mind-boggling and pathetic. No wonder Corner Gas was such a hit in Canada- it's true. The people here are known as the idiots of Canada for a reason.

Anonymous said...

Boom? What economic boom? Was this a myth perpetuated by the Sask government to get people to move here? You rascals...

Anonymous said...

I hate the ignorant bunch of alcohol fueled low foreheads. Joni Mitchell is right. The place sucks too.

Ruby said...

I'm feeling the hate too. Arrogant, RACIST, ignorant, selfabsorbed, dopes. A black hole. I'm so done with the entitled morons who hang on to the notion that the "INDIANS" are a second class citizen who is lucky to live tax free on the land that we gave them, that I'm becoming a danger to myself. Thank God for this page. Godspeed to all FN people facing crisis. Colonialism has been a crime against humanity.